Pain may hurt as much as ever, but as time passes, we can put that pain in context so that suffering no longer dominates our whole life. We can separate ourselves from our pain, so that pain...as well as happiness and every other emotion...becomes merely another vehicle for growth.
I still cry every single day. Some times it's only a few minutes, some times it's longer. Grieving a loss is not an easy thing to do, but I believe it's important for healing. I wish we could turn off love like we turn off a light...there one minute and gone the next. Instead we must suffer to let our love go. Can't heal unless you let go. I plan on healing. I plan on living a good life. I must not look to anyone else to make a good life for me; this I must do for myself. I plan on growing and becoming a stronger more loving and understanding person. Perhaps even some day, I will be able to forgive. But first I will surrender to my grief and I will let go of my dreams and my hopes. I will remind myself that this intense emotional turmoil is temporary and a natural part of recovery. Feelings aren't facts. No matter how intense the feelings may be, they are only feelings. They are reactions to, rather than reflections of, reality. I will eventually come out of my darkness and find my spot in the sun again.