Sunday, September 28, 2014

My First Date

Yes, you read the title right...I have had my first date since leaving Mr. A.S.S.Y.  and regaining my freedom and my sanity.  Yes, please congratulate me because this was a really big deal in my little world.   It wasn't an uncomfortable thing for me to do at all, since I've been getting to know this fella in a friendly way all Summer.  When he finally moved things in that direction, it wasn't a completely terrifying thought, because I knew I always had fun being in his company.  But if you would have asked me about dating last December-April...I would have told you to go fuck yourself, because I was never gonna do that again.  But here it is September and I'm whistling a different tune.  That's where the really big deal part comes in.  Go me!!


So, I know you are all just dying to know how my Saturday night date went?!  Well, the whole date was great but my three favorite parts were 1. locking him out of the car and laughing while he was pumping gas as I sat inside the car ( oh yes, I'm evil) 2. holding his hand 3. the way he kissed me goodnight. What?? Were you expecting me to say...the food?? :)


Then he left and I proceeded to have a good, short cry in the shower.  It wasn't that I was sad or upset,  I just never in my life thought I would be where I am.  You see, I'm a very loyal kind of girl.... and even though I'm legally separated, working on my divorce, and haven't seen Mr. A.S.S.Y. since March, it still felt a little weird.  It just felt like I did something really, really bad...and then I realized it was really, really fun and I would love to do something really, really fun again on another date!  Go me!!


I know you're all thinking, Wow MaryD, that sounds great!! But wait a sec because I haven't gotten to the part where I run away yet!  And yes, there is that part to tell.  You see, through a few text message exchanges later that week, my "friend" that I went on the date with, disclosed that he has  2 ladies he "talks to" to kill the time as he waits for his "keeper" girl.  But one of them he was getting ready to "kick to the curb" because she was nothing but "drama".  Can you say OUCH!  Can you say stomach twisted into a knot.  Can you say flash back to December 6, 2013, when I read some text messages that made me feel the same way, just more in a "hey my fucking life as I know it is over and I might as well walk out into a snow bank, close my eyes, and just go to sleep" kinda way.  Then I just let myself sit with that uncomfortable feeling all day.  I thought well, at least he told me, he could have easily just hide it from me, but I do wish he would have told me before the date, before I let myself like him.  So, now what do I do?  Do I want to be the number "3" girl he "talks to" to kill the time as he waits for his "keeper" girl?  Do I want to get "kicked to the curb" when I annoy him to much?  My answer... NO, I FUCKING DON'T....if I wanted to be that to someone, I would have stayed married to Mr. A.S.S.Y.


So what did MaryD do?  She pulled the bell and got of the bus!  This is the part where I run away!! Yes, I feel sad and disappointed but I also feel kinda glad, because I learned something really important by knowing him.  I discovered my love for myself again.  It's still there people!! I deserve someone that protects my feelings, that thinks it's great just seeing me and isn't worried about what else might be out there that's better!  I'm irreplaceable and some day some one is going to realize that...and it's gonna be when they have me and not when I'm gone!  And I'm gonna love locking him out of the car and laughing when he's pumping gas, holding his hand, and kissing him good night too...but the best part is, he'll feel the exact same way about me too!

So, that's the story of my first date.  Everyone has a life to live and everyone can choose to live it anyway they want to.  I'm not here to judge anyone.  At another point in my life, maybe I would have been okay with sharing and being someone's "something to do" but at the place I'm at now and with what I've been through, I'm just not.  And that's okay too! 


All fun cartoons borrowed from.....Comically Vintage
P.S. Dear lawyers the definition of the Acronym Mr. A.S.S.Y. means Mr. Assembly because he liked to put things together....yup that's exactly what that means no need to send a letter! :)

Monday, September 22, 2014

Goodbye Summer....

You were an amazing time of year for me once again.  I can always count on Summer to re-energize my spirit and send me off in new creative directions.  No other season gives me the wonderful mental boost quite like Summer does.  Summer I will miss you!

Omg potatoes!!! Happiest day ever!!! 
I grew Veggies and ate my veggies and shared my veggies!!

Just a girl and her bike riding a path to no where!  Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I road my bike!

I love vintage tractors with suicide knobs and tires almost as tall as grandpa would be proud! 
I fell in love with a few tractors.

My favorite little grumpy old man...sleeps on the pillow behind my head every night. Been with me for 17 1/2 years... I love him so much!
I lost something I will never be able to replace.
He was the best thing that has ever happened in my life.  

I also have a thing for cheesy vintage light up pictures....the cats are not amused 
I bought stuff I didn't need just for fun!

I saved the vintage :) Happy Saturday! 
I glowed...I nested....I rested....I met new friends...I hung out with old friends...I spent time with myself....I licked my wounds and healed my soul just a bit more...I spent time with my family.... I gave and got lots of hugs...I let go...I laughed more than I cried (even though I cried for days)...  I remembered how to love...I grieved my losses...I proclaimed that all this me time is absolutely awesome...I got a new nickname from a special fella....I jumped through flaming hoops of fire...(okay just kidding I didn't really do that)...I did however start running again (slow like a turtle but I'm moving so who cares turtles are cute!)

Thank you Summer you came along just when I needed you!  See ya next year Summer!!



Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Happiness Is Just A Paint Color Away!

Hello DeluxeVille I missed you :) 

"It's your road, and yours alone.
Others may walk it with you,
but no one can walk it for you."


I totally dig this metal mirrored tray I picked up last weekend with @kindamama for $1! 

Thumbs up for divorce!!!

~When one door closes,
sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails
to make sure that Bitch stays shut. 


Expect nothing
Appreciate everything.